Michael Conroy, founder/director Men At Work CIC
Men making public #pledges / #promises not to be abusive towards women is ineffectual, self-regarding tokenism, *at best*. I see it as a distraction – a potentially dangerous one – from genuine, permanent, ongoing transformative work to end #misogyny.
My reasons include the following:
*pledges/promises not to abuse are themselves a recognised feature of the cycle of partner abuse
*men making public pledges/promises ‘not to be abusive’ can acquire social kudos for an empty act – potentially disconnected from their real values and ingrained behaviours.
*that kudos can be a social cover for contradictory values and behaviours (examples of which are super-abundant) which amplifies the capacity to abuse.
*pledges/promises are NOT meaningful actions per se, in ANY context. Why do we men, collectively, set the bar so low for women and girls that we applaud ourselves for saying we won’t abuse them? In what other context would that be taken seriously and not seen as risible?
*organisations grow up dedicated to catering for the empty act of pledging/promising, which then become timid, self-protective place-holders rather than actual engines for material change. A symbiotic relationship between such organisations and the men who want to be seen making public pledges/promises arises, disconnected from – and creating obstacles to – material change.
Ditto for ribbons, t-shirts, badges and self-descriptors in social media bios.
Don’t pledge / promise, brothers.
Let’s do the work. Slow. Small. Everywhere. Unflashy. Always.